An Open Letter to BDSM Authors
If you’re going to give me a BDSM story, give me trust. Not a token mention of a contract someone signed, give me actual trust.
Give me a mutual respect between partners, a desire to not only serve and be served, but a genuine desire to please (the dom) and be pleased (the sub). Give me mutually agreed upon boundary pushing.
Oh and give me ALL your Aftercare! Petting, tickling, wound care (if applicable), blankets and water and tickling and snacks and cuddling and maybe even vanilla sexy times.
Give me Anal~retentive lists! Pros and cons of each and every aspect of the scene down to the sort of dialogue that is appropriate. Give me obsessive attention to detail, awkward glancing at lists out of the subs line of sight to ensure that everything is perfect, and equally obsessive checking in with your partner before, during, and after the scene. Because look, Dom/mes get nervous, ITS A THING!
Besides, a great scene is awesome, but it can always get better.
Give me your nervous beginners with desires darker than handcuffs and hot wax.
I want failed scenes—that end in laughter! “Wow, this was a GREAT idea on paper but ummm this is just all kinds of ridiculous in real life and let’s NEVER speak of this again. (Only we will. The puppet incident of 05? **wink**).
Give me reluctant negotiation and agreement on a scene that looks utterly ridiculous and laughable on paper but holy shit, in reality, this is incredibly hot. (Only Known as Stick-Shift night forever more).
Give me random insights into their day-to-day lives, a DOM/ME having to safe word because her anxiety isn’t making it possible to “hit that like it’s a baseball baby” today.
Think outside (or inside, or on top of, or strapped too) the box, my awesome authors! Give me your filthiest, your funniest, your most ridiculous!
But please, whatever you do, DON’T give me Inner Goddesses.